I spend too much of my time and energy worried if I am doing something right.
I don’t mean math problems or things with a single solution, but things that the answer I seek is based on context and social conventions. Where the fear of judgment makes me pause.
At least for me, such things usually occur in public and with strangers.
Take eating a breakfast burrito. This should be a no-brainer, right?
But what if I’m somewhere fancy? Or if I know, if I just happened to have a burrito malfunction, I don’t have a ready change of clothing? The image of me having the spend the day covered in egg and salsa gives me pause.
What I really want to do is pick the dang thing up and take a bite. It’s wrapped for a reason, right?
So before digging in, I scope out what the people around me were doing. No one else had ordered this item. Damn. I should have ordered something else, but it’s too late. The breakfast burrito sits on my plate.
Insert awkward pause.
So what if I pick it up? Are the burrito police going to come and make fun of me? Will the man at the next table in his business suit move a table over so as not to be influenced by my unsavory eating skills? If I suddenly spasm, could I end up looking like Carrie when they dumped blood on her, and have to…. I stop the flow of ideas on how I could get clean enough in that scenario.
The breakfast burrito is still sitting on my plate. My stomach rumbles.
Hunger wins. The burrito is good and I eat without spilling.
I spend way too much energy worrying.
What about you? Ever spend energy worried about getting something ‘right’?