last minute packers

I’ve a friend who is going to a writer conference in another continent. She also recently lost weight which complicated the packing situation. She talked about starting to pack weeks before the event.

I was so impressed. I come from a long line of last minute packers. We are the packers that ten minutes before we have to leave, we start packing. This isn’t because we are so organized that the packing is simple. No, we are last minute packers because we are not organized and the thought of packing fills us with dread.

My personal cure is a couple days before the trip, I tack a sheet of paper on the fridge and start my packing list. I do it in spurts. I’ve been known to race across the house just so I can add ‘charging chord for my phone’. I add in the business clothing, the laptop, the sneakers for working out, the snacks, the underwear.

I generally lose the sheet before the packing is done.

Inevitably I forget something. This has happened on every trip. The top two: forgetting sleeping bags when going camping and forgetting diapers for a day trip with my 1 year-old daughter. That’s when I found out that swimming diapers do not work the same as regular diapers.

What crazy packing stories do you have?

Focus Fox

FLASH

Today I would like to introduce my new guest blogger, Focus F. Fox.

He is here to help offset the dreaded distraction squirrels. Once a week on Wednesdays, he will stop by and leave a gem of wisdom. I asked him to focus mainly on writing.

Focus Fox says:

Don’t think the cheese that goes with all your whining won’t attracts squirrels. It will and you will never have the right glass sizes to pour wine for them.

 

The sneeze heard across America

On Thursday I went to get my son from daycare early.  I was greeted by a pale, red cheeked, low energy version of my son.  The daycare lady said it must be allergies.

He did have a slight fever and slept well that night.  He is my early riser, so when my daughter–who could sleep til noon–was the first kid awake, I knew he was really sick.

He stood next to me with his sad face on and then let out the biggest sneeze I have ever heard.  It was loud enough to scare him to tears.  And out from his nose shot a large snail trail of yellow booger and the missing cardboard ER pushed up into his nose.

Not sure if it was causal, but once that cardboard came out, he started getting better.  He still had a couple more huge sneezes.  And enough booger to lubricate a whole peloton of bicycles.

How can I tell when my four year old son is better? We went for a walk and the kids decided to play fetch.  My son came to me on all fours with a stick in his mouth.

‘Good immune system,’ is the chant I say regularly with him.

I had no idea that becoming a mom meant so much thinking and talking about bodily fluids.  On that note, excuse me while I prevent the full roll of TP my son just used from plugging the toilet.

What about you any stories to tell?

Creative Hearing

In recent conversation I jokingly said, “I was born in seventy-dos.”

What I thought my friend said was, “Is that Spanklish?”

I hereby want to create a new word: Spanklish.

I debated what it could mean. Here’s what I came up with.

  1. Someone who hides spanx under his clothing. (Yes, they have spanx for men:  https://tinyurl.com/lg7dsqx)
  2. Someone who wants to know more about 50 shades.

What do you think Spanklish should mean?  What is your funniest creative hearing moment?