I had a computer backpack puked on recently. (I’ll tell you later) I was afraid that even with the best cleaning, I’d always be followed with the faint smell of vomit. I needed a new backpack.
So I cleaned out the old one, stacking each item on the kitchen counter. Computer, cord, highlighters, pens, notepads, tampons.
Fast forward to my daughter coming home from kindergarten.
“Mommy? What’s this for?” Holding up a tampon.
They could have used my face for a model of trying to come up with an answer. The ummmmmmmmmmm look.
“Remember how mommy has that blanket in her tummy for a new baby? And how it comes out if there is no baby?”
“The blood.” She nodded still holding up the unopened tampon.
“Yes. This helps catch the blanket so it doesn’t make a mess.” Okay I’ll admit I was feeling pretty good on that on-the-fly-hopefully-I-am-not-traumatizing-my-girl answer.
She looked at the tampon for a long moment and then a look of horror overtook her face. The look heralded something far worse than the potato apocalypse. A look she gave when asked to eat spinach.
“You put this in your butt?”
I better start saving for counseling.
What has your child said that made you shake your head or laugh? (And perhaps question your parenting skills)